Sheet music’s black and white
with a fermata on the D
the conductor’s stick caught in mid-air
holding our breaths, waiting to see
if he’ll let it rest, but no
keeping his wrinkled hands up, we patiently hold
reading the lines of his sacred palms
breaks and scars that mold
a traced alleyway of Saigon
green grass eyes fading to porcelain grey
as the cacophonous tick-tock of the metronome lulls them shut
crying for a deep sound breath, we pray
He releases our filled lungs with spirit
descending and clashing we combine
to have a safe place to be heard, to fit
in the black and white song
with no more rests we swallow
our airy pride, in the orchestra pit
This poem is about the Vietnam war and the effect it had on those who fought. For anyone who knows someone, affiliated with, or has fought in the war, whether you are American or not, I respect you. I am also struck with the grief you had and still have today.
war is never the answer.
Things I want to include in my abstract sleeve tattoo:
eating disorder awareness symbol
splices of a map
some sort of peace symbol but not the cliche one…
spiritual symbol…not sure what yet
family symbol…not sure again
There will be more.
I want this to be a declaration on all that I seek, believe. root for etc.
And everything will be beautifully intertwined, I just have to find an extremely talented artist. My standards are high. I also need to save some money….
This passage seems long but I’m trying to be a hippie about this whole body image thing because it works and I am excited to share it, so please read and see for yourself.
I think a huge thing people with eating disorders or body image issues forget is that you won’t stop your harmful habits and negative thoughts if you refuse to respect your body
During spring break I ate out everyday and definitely ate more fat and carbs, but I stopped when I was full…well except on Easter…
Regardless I simply ate what my body wanted. Everyday my body wants vegetables, fruits, grains, and nutrients. Sometimes it wants banana bread cold stone ice cream for an afternoon treat and sometimes it simply just wants some carrots and hummus. Does it ever want a whole box of Oreos? No, so I don’t go there. Now, your mind can want a whole box of Oreos for whatever reasons, but you really have to be in tune to your body over your mind. You can even tell if your body needs fulfilling protein or energizing carbs. It’s up to you to make the decision and it’s okay to think about what you’re going to eat before absentmindedly reaching for a handful of potato chips. Not that chips are bad, It’s just you have to listen to your body before your taste buds.
Taste buds want salt and sugar. That’s pretty much it. So don’t always rely on them.
Also, listen to your muscles. My body wants to move around a lot. Walk, bike, jump around etc. But some days it wants to take a rest. And we have to be okay with that. We can’t worry about the calories we didn’t burn or perceive ourselves as lazy. I’ve been on the treadmill many times and realized I should be home resting. My body is not meant to run long distances all the time.
Listening to your body also means ignoring the numbers, means of measuring, and the media. So don’t obsessively count fat, calories, sugar, etc. Don’t measure yourself or weigh yourself either. If these numbers are determining whether or not you’re eating a cupcake, then they are speaking louder than your body. Your body may want the cupcake but the scale twists your mind into thinking no no no.
Personally I was afraid I’d gain a bunch of weight during break, but really I learned a lot about the needs/wants of my body and to just respect it. Weight is just a number and it’s really not important. As long as my clothes still fit (which they do) I’m content.
I’ve also been fighting a cold this week which has allowed me to listen to my body even more. My body is doing everything it can to fight this bug off and it really pays to have a good attitude about the whole sickness. Instead of bashing my immune system or hating my body, I feel sympathetic towards it. I feel bad more my aching muscles and sore throat. I am rooting for my body to fight the virus off. Of course I feel like shit, but I am not blaming my body for this because it’s the victim here.
The key point to remember is: Body over mind. Body over taste buds. Always listen.
Listening to your body really opens your mind and is the gateway to respecting it. I always thought this whole concept was a little hippish and perhaps it is, but it’s definitely worth the try.